Prepare to be Astounded....

Pssst....it's me again - the sock. You maybe can't see me too well on account of that I'm the one in the back. Look, uh, I don't have much time - between you and me - they keep a pretty short leash on me but I don't really mind. Anyway, I kinda left you hanging and it occurred to me later that you might be worried about me. So, I just wanted to let you know I'm all right.

The last few weeks have been pretty tough, though. I don't mention it much because I don't want to risk the deep, dark basket treatment again. When I left you last, I might have mentioned a certain arrangement in a light that implied I was not interested. Let me just correct that by saying, publicly, that I reject that insinuation. And, honey, if you're reading (and I'm sure you are since you watch my every move), I couldn't be happier.

Of course, I haven't always been so wise. I admit that when she put you down to work solely on me, squealing with glee that we were 'beyond ankle' and 'almost in the mid-calf stretch', I kinda felt like everything had gone back to normal. Not for some time had she sat and rubbed my back and said soothing, loving things about my fantastic color. Then came the ribbing and the 'elf flap' (whatever that is) and I felt like I was a rock n'roll hero. She had to wipe her lip quickly not to drool on me in the wee hours of the night when she trimmed my flap with handspun silk and merino coiled yarn. When she gave me my tassle, complete with a beautiful brown glass bead, we both shuddered a little - which I foolishly took as a comforting sign that we were going to make it through the impossible saga of me being a mere sock and her being, well, that great big human thingie. I pictured us going for long walks (which, strangely, then, involved only one foot) in the sunset talking at length about the muses of our hearts. My tassel, I imagined, would flow in the wind, offsetting the sparkly yarn nicely - and I felt fine like a rare jewel. I was certain that my days on the shelf were over - and they were. But, the horror that awaited me, the lonely, darkened despair, was unfathomable in light of feeling so euphoric and proud.

Then, I woke up in 'the basket'. It's a deep, dark, dank place, dearest, that I'm glad you never had to go to. After the first day, I resolved to pout a little when she came for me. After the second, I was whimpering and beginning to cry whilst the other 'nearly done' creatures jeered at me and snickered while pointing out my, and I quote, 'fruity fluff and pomp'. By day 3, I was prepared to leap out of the basket and beg her forgiveness for whatever trespass I unknowingly committed but...she still didn't come. On day five, when she finally came back, I doted on her. I shined and twinkled for her. I shook my tassle like a wanton hussy and just when I was sure all was well, she explained that I was only coming out to be 'measured' against the 'other one'. Now, Dearest, I mean no slight on you when I say that I feared it was out of spite alone that you came up one inch short which necessitated me being thrown back in the slammer basket for another two nights. Oh, the jeering I endured from those basket creatures. They laughed at me even as I wept myself to sleep, those bastards!

But, all of this is a distant memory, I assure you. Since the day you were done, and we lay together for our photo session, I knew you were the only one for me. I mean, look at your tassel - so fluffy and sparkly - you wear your bead like none other. Your patterning is stunning and that curve of shaping on your calf? Uh, if I don't stop here I could get into trouble. Va va va voom is all I'm sayin'...

~~~~~~TRANSCRIPT BECOMES UNDECIPHERABLE OVER VULGAR NOISEMAKING AND STRUTTING~~~

Now, I know you may not be astounded by my socks but you should be somewhat so by the fact that I spun the yarn, designed, and knit them in a month, non? But, perhaps the sock saga isn't what you came here for. Perhaps you came because you always do - in which case I thank you rightly but also offer you the friendly suggestion that you might need to have your head examined. Perhaps you came because it is the first of the month and that is when I announce the terms and prizes for the May Great Giveaway. Heh! Who am I kidding? I don't believe I have announced the Great Giveaway on time - yet (says she who is always late to her own party) so it just might shock and overwhelm you to find that I not only spun some fab yarn and knit some totally quirky elvish socks from my own design in a month but that I also have (finally, I hear some of you whisper) made it to the announcement of the Great Giveaway on time. I sure hope so, because I have no picture. That's just what it is, a mystery. The Great Giveaway for May is for the quirky, eclectic spinner. You'll get 4 ozs. of mix and match mystery batts - chock full of whatever eye candy strikes my fancy as I make them. There are some rules for this month's giveaway, though and they are thus:
1. Ya'll - be nice. This will be explained in the following paragraph (or novel as the case may be).
2. If you forget to be nice, then be even nicer for a while.....it won't hurt anybody, I promise.
3. Leave your name and your most favorite nice thing someone has ever done for you(that you want to share in public, of course, heh heh!) in the comments for a random drawing.

I was a little disheartened to find some bashing of free gifters going on on the greatest fiber forum there isto be found. Kinda got under my skin a bit but then I laughed and, as I often do, thought about what my grandma would say to that. She'd say something like, 'dang, some people are so sour you can't even give 'em honey.' And that would be true.

So, the gist of the thread of bashing were about why or why not to give a freebie when someone buys something from your shop. Some said they did it to market future items, some said they felt grateful that people picked their lesser well-known shops from the pool of available fiber fish in the sea. But, sadly, some insinuated, or outright suggested that only a seller who doesn't believe in their own work would give something away for free with a purchase. Then, there was the assertion that nothing comes for free and, therefore, the purchaser was probably paying for their freebie anyway. This went on and on and basically became another one of those 'who' and 'who isn't' worthy of the title they bear (fartist, for my part)which is infuriating, insulting, and totally sad for me - and I think for most of the great people I've come to know in fiber fun land. It makes it all feel so icky that I (just for a moment) contemplated axing the Great Giveaway and ceasing to send my little 'present' with my packages. I did neither, though, because my intent is and has always been clear to me.

I am a giver. I love to give. Long before I had a shop, or sold fiber in any way, I would seek out bloggers whom I admired, found refreshingly humorous, or was indebted to for some knitterly expertise they shared on their blog that made light bulbs go blinkety-blink in my head and send them fiber oodles of love. The Great Giveaway is not here to lure you into shopping in my store. Though, if you are lured, we will treat you quite nice, indeed - just as we treat EVERYONE. The Great Giveaway, you may recall, is a way that I get to play around each month by giving any random little thing away to someone who visits me often. If you were a local friend, and you visited often, I would send you away with all manner of goodies. But, since we have this orb between us, the Great Giveaway still allows me the pleasure of gifting to friends and strangers. If you haven't tried gifting yet, please do, you will feel a tickle in your heart...a smile will replace your grim grin....and you'll experience a little bit of peace....it is all good.

As for the freebies I include in my packages, ditto. I do it because I want to and should the time ever arise that I don't want to, I just won't. I don't have the organization, wits, or savvy style to use it as a 'preview' to taunt and tease unsuspecting buyers into buying my future stuffs. I just usually (or hubster, whoever the carder may be) take some little samples of colors and some glitzy leftovers for fiber peoples and throw them on the carder. Sometimes, its bits of roving. For yarn peoples, it's often a stitch marker. None of these things adds anything to the purchase price or is in any way factored into my costs. My investment is in the time and consideration I feel for them when I make it. I generally use beads left over from larger projects on the stitch markers and recycled materials whenever I can. So, doubters of the kind intentions of people, please stop bashing them on the forums. Sometimes, people are just nice. I know it must strike you as odd or even annoying but there it is.....you can bully us, hate us, and suggest we are sleuths of fiber business all you want but we just might muster up our most stubborn bones and royally piss you off by continuing to be nice!