Life without an ego.....
So, the other night, we're all sitting around after dinner chatting a bit and the subject that my kids are still young and young at heart enough to discuss with inspired delight came up - what they most want to do with their lives. I look to the time that many friends of adult children have remarked about - when they may not be so free to just dream and imagine the limitless possibilities of the life before them - with a quick fleeting glance because I love so much to hear their ideas, hopes, and inspirations. All of us are writers, spinners, knitters, artists, and farmers. What each of us finds possible as an off-shoot of that is about as varied as an ice cream cake is to fresh, potent chili pepper.....there's nothing we don't think about.
So, all are talking about such things and the confidence in the room was building to an almost comical pace. I giggled and said, "whew! Is there enough room in here for all these egos?" when they started to best each other. I'm going to be the best writer. No, I am. But, I'm a better speller. Yeah, but I got more favorites on my story.... That sort of thing.
It was just a gentle way of reminding everyone to keep the spirit of dreaming and not go sitting down on the chair of someone else's dreams. So, I was a little shocked when one of my own children, a sweet and faithful child bubbling with brilliance, turns and looks at me and says, "yeah, except for you, mom. There's extra space because you barely even have one."
Rest assured, no harm was meant. A most innocent and also terribly funny conversation ensued with points made that even I (what'd you expect, I have no ego) couldn't dispute to substantiate the claim that I operate with a minimal and rather dysfunctional ego.
Since then, I've been wandering through the days, somehow muddling through without my ole ego. Though, when cracking a fortune cookie on our dinner out for Thing 3's birthday, it suggested that my outlook needed refreshing and that I would proceed without issue upon doing that. Another such debate ensued, this time between all three things, about how 'old mom's outlook is - she sure needs another one'. With laughs and giggles and all. I 'neverminded' it - instead, casting off the last toe on my 'Black Magic Woman' socks and mourning my dead ole outlook and missing ego.......the socks were quite a comfort!
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