Spinning, Knitting, Crocheting, Organic Gardening, Living off-grid, and chasing sheep - because- I'm, like, NOT SANE!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Oh, hi, uhm.....awkward silence....

You know how, sometimes, you run into someone that you've not talked to in a looooong time and you instantly realize that it was you who dropped the ball on the communicating and being a friend part and you suddenly break a sweat and feel like screaming out, "Oh, gawd, I hate myself!" but you don't and you just fumble for a minute before you come right out with it and apologize for being such a numb person and forgetting to remember the important people in your life?

I'm sorry I've been gone a while. Stuff has happened. It kinda keeps happening and I've been waiting for the 'right' time to figure out how to talk about it or decide if I can or want to. That was dumb and maybe selfish and, for those of you who expressed worry or concern, really wrong. I'm sorry.

So, here's the nutshell. Life is changing rapidly on the farm, and the whole concept of the farm is changing as well. Change can be slow and is sometimes an elusive and spiteful thing - showing you one face one time and then radically deviating from where your thought you were headed. So, as of now, I know little of how and when big changes will come. It would suffice to say that I'm alone rowing the boat save for the physical chores that I am helped with....and I don't mind it so much. It would also suffice to say that things have been sometimes rough, often sad, and a few times quite scary. I just keep picking myself up, hugging the Things and trying to get on with the day as best I can. And, when that doesn't work, I sit and knit and drink coffee and eat chocolate and cry after they've gone to bed.


Now that we've gotten that mess outta here, life will go on. So, to change things up again and (hopefully) indicate to the Universe that I am willing and sometimes capable of riding the waves of tumult, Look for a Friday post of a non-knitterly or spinnerly origin. Remember near a year ago when I said I'd show you how I make my super skin healing salve? Let's do that, and some soap (mmmmm...can you smell that from here?) and then commence to petting fiber and knitting away the hours until holiday knitting is over and lambing season begins!

On the long ride, I'd like to say, ya'll have been awesome to me. The emails and pm on ravelry have been lifesavers and huge pick me ups. I felt strong knowing that so many of you were humming along behind me - even if I was too pig headed and stubborn to come here and shed tears before you. I'm a sentimental fool and a bit ashamed when I can't hide my feelings which is just about never. Forgive me?