Swift - a fast-moving, pissed off woman with tangles

Main Entry: 3swift
Function: noun
1 : any of several lizards (especially of the genus Sceloporus) that run swiftly
2 : a reel for winding yarn or thread
3 : any of numerous small plainly colored birds (family Apodidae) that are related to the hummingbirds but superficially much resemble swallows

Years ago, well, 14 to be exact, I considered buying a bed frame so we could graduate from the 'college' decor of mattresses on the damn floor. We, unfortunately, have never broken out of the 'college' level of funding so - I was shopping on next to nothing. Still, I found a metal frame with a headboard for a little over $100.00 and set about saving for it. I still can't afford it, but that isn't my point. SOMEONE (insert hubster's name, here) promised me he would 'build' me one, instead. The good news is that, as I get older, I don't have to worry about falling off the bed - nor do I have to sweep under the mattresses.

Flash forward to a few months ago: I know, I know, the pics of my yarn dying dementia are here and I will splatter what I can through this here rant. Well, most of it isn't here, actually, because - guess what maniacal freak already skeined, tied, and labelled them and put them in the "Show' totes? This is kinda about the show(s) I'm doing this summer. See, a few months ago, I had what could be classified as a total hissy fit because yours truly owns neither a swift nor a yardage counter. This means that most of my sock yarns, hand-dyed yarns, and all my handspun yarns are wound on a skeiner that goes with my wheel and every freakin' turn is counted so I can put an honest yardage count on the dang thang (it seems to be really important to my people who are, you know, paying for my yarn). During said hissy fit, I demanded a yardage meter (nothing to drive you to madness like being 100 turns into a 150 turn skein and have some fool fall off the swing or start whining for some ridiculous perk like, lunch, to throw you off your counting, turning, counting, madness) and a nice little swift like this one the Woolery sells. We have had an unnatural amount of budget busters happen this year so, well, let's just say I never got it. BUT - SOMEONE (insert his damn name yourself because I don't even bother to call him by it, anymore) said, "I can make you one". Now, this man is no idiot. WEll, oh nevermind. What I mean is that the most infuriating part of it all is that I am certain he possesses both the skill and the materials to make both things. Time is not there for him and judging by the fact that the shetlands started the day by wiggling their tiny bodies and bulging milk sacks under the fence to run amuck, I doubt time is something he'll see again for a while. But, it has been almost four months and no swift, no counter (unless you count the huffing, red-faced, cursing bar-maid in my spinning chair) to be had. Can you say - UUUUURGHHHHJ! Why do I do this to myself? Why do I think that just because SOME people like my yarns and colors that I can pull off these heroic feats with a twig and a yard stick and not look like a total mad woman? Why do I still believe when someone dangles a cookie in my face? Oh, and, do you think I need a nap today?

By the way, the yarn up at the top is as follows from the left which is a HUGE 1 lb. skein of my colourway "TIa Dalma" sock yarn. I plan to put some on the farm site just as soon as I skein it up (hysterical rage, then total composure) and in the middle is some NZ wool (wst wgt) in a spruce, brown, and light green tone (the pic insists on making it look blue but it is all green) and to the right is my 'out of your color comfort zone' attempt, which I love. It is a periwinkle, sunny yellow, green, blue, and light purple bonanza that says, 'Johnny Jump Up' to me. I'm posting a second pic just so you can see the yellow which is muted in the first shot.

The roving, the roving. Here's a spot of what I did in my mania. This is a 'dragon' colorway and I'm psyched to spin it into some soft singles. Who the hell knows who's gonna SKEIN it after that, but that is at least a few days away. I'm not going to put the other bit of roving (actually laps) on here because it is worthy of its own post. Also, I am currently LURVING spinning my newest arrival, 100% Cotswold Roving that I had done at the Fingerlakes Woolen Mill. They are awesome and the wool is SENSUAL. We started shearing twice a year last year and it has softened the wool substantially without deteriorating that lustre that makes Cotswold so breathtaking. I've rubbed this stuff all over me and found no sensitivity (yes, I will not be selling THAT ball of roving - as it may be heavily scented). I'm going to use some indigo paste and mullein leaves to start my adventures in plant dyeing with this stuff. MMMMM. Almost makes you forget you want to pinch someone.