Spinning, Knitting, Crocheting, Organic Gardening, Living off-grid, and chasing sheep - because- I'm, like, NOT SANE!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Regional Remembrance Disorder

dah bluesI don't know what it is about summer, but I seem to be bombarded with 'Southerness' all summer long. I start to say ya'll ALL THE TIME and my words sort of sllllloooowww down as they come out of my mouth. I get the insane notion, as I did the other day, to explain to someone that fireworks displays just kinda lack the opalescent charm of southern 4ths of Julys long past.
ME: I mean, when I was little, we sometimes had relatives come from about a 500 mile radius wherein we'd camp on the floors, in barns, etc. and everyone, everyone would have brought soda for the kids, beer for the taller kids, and a pickup load of fireworks. We'd go late into the night talking, fighting, making up, catching up, and pausing every few minutes in between to go light a fuse and marvel at something blowing up. It was Rockwell in the trailer park, I tell you.
HER: backing up a gentle 'hope she doesn't follow me' step and raising her eyebrows...
ME: Even in the years when we were too poor to buy fireworks or family feuds heralded pathetic get-togethers, we could always afford a couple of cases of Black Cats, which we'd tie up in a long string, fill a cardboard box with old rags, soak it with gasoline, and light the mighty Black Cat that started it all...
HER: that's f-&*()ked up, you know?
ME: Well, yeah. But, still, if you were me - would you be happy to sit out on the lake in your tiny town getting eating alive by blood-sucking varmints to watch a civilized and programmed fireworks display? I mean, half the fun is lighting it yourself.

Moving on.....

Because the Regional Remembrance Disorder (RRD) is in full swing and I am akin to the animals I raise (sheep) more closely than ever, I am seriously needing to 'follow' someone. I know, it is sad, but we Southerners know how to fold'em and tell the truth (when it is most definitely going to be upon us anyway) no matter what you've been led to believe, lately. There are two kinds of Texans. Those who don't know shite and those who know they don't know shite so just let you laugh at them and get on with it. And, everyone has been talking about the Mystery Stole III thing. I wanted to join last week but just when I was about to push the button, I chickened out (slightly paranoid RRD). I mean, I suck at lace - meaning I have produced it but, honestly, I just don't really think that was due to my talents because all along the borders of the patterns I've scribbled little sad faces, little WTF?s and, on one, a very long-fanged beast. Hmmmm... But, I got this stupid idea to do it with some of my handspun, and varying shades of it as well. That first blue on the left was aptly called 'the blues' and I have it in the 'spin this next' basket that I keep next to my 'spin this for shows' basket because I have to fluctuate back to my favorite shades whilst spinning yarn that makes me want to scream. It's all about being fair to the unique color pleasures of ALL knitters. Also, I'd look mighty stupid setting up my booth with only greens, blues, and purple yarns, so....(babbling RRD). Fortunately, the color I am spinning up next for shows IS the one, the only, Queen Mermaid roving. Ohhhh, glitter, green, sparkle, blue, life looks up for me already. That's the stuff I just threw in on the right up top and didn't explain at all (My parents are related RRD). This started to sound like a bright idea but then reason gripped me and I realized that spinning up a bunch of random bits of lace weight might, alone, be the thing that makes me start running around the yard growling at the gates like a madwoman. Also, it might be really ugly. Then there's the impracticality of it all (notice how late Ms. Practicality shows up?). The difference in gauge, the frustration of timing, the fact that I am already in over my head....See, I can be practical, it's just that I have to consciously CHOOSE it, it doesn't seem to be organic with me (plain ole RRD).

While we're visiting, me and that heavenly voice on my other shoulder who makes a sadly irregular appearance, it was also noted that the stole mystery began two fridays ago so we are already behind. Hmmm. don't you love me mermaid shawl Would this dissuade me from jumping it? I made it three days. But, everyone keeps talking about it and, (RRD) I don't know how I reasoned I could do it but the deadline for signing up loomed just hours before me and...I , oh, I remember, there's that hand-dyed 'dragon nest' lace yarn from two years ago that I was going to make the Mermaid Shawl out of 'Folk Shawls' in but haven't' finished and.....(are you ready to leave my brain, yet?)

I pause to remind you that I am NOT a 'group' joiner. I might like to pretend I'm above needing other people's company to complete a challenge, but it really comes down to the fact that I am not really 'group material' (for reasons that I am sure are already clear by the conversation posted above) and because I don't have or want to spend alot of money buying a CERTAIN BRAND of anything to do a fun project. But, this thing is different. Just lace yarn and beads. Danged if I don't have a vial of beads that perfectly match this yarn! What to do, what to do. I COULD rip the portion that I have knit (2/3's of the original square that the border is then knit onto) but that would be crazy. I have enough to do this project and have one skein left, which is what I predict it would take to finish the base square for the Mermaid Shawl. you have this much yarn Then, I found this spruce green cashmere yarn in the stash (with a label of skull and crossbones hand-drawn by my alter ego so you know I was protecting it well) which I reason I could then do the border with. So, I'd have a funky two-toned Mermaid Shawl and enough of the Dragon's Nest to knit this Mystery thingie. I quickly signed up with only 3.3 hours to spare and, when I casually mentioned to hubster that I was adding a project to my 'to do' list - he was so sweetly supportive. He said it was good for me to stay involved with my beloved blog-knit-peoples because ya'll bring me such joy and I work too hard anyway (Ms. Practicality may be on a potty break as I recollect the EXACT response). Then, I mentioned the lace and his face lost all color. Beaded lace, I corrected, with a time limit - I fanned him for a while and put some ice on him and he eventually was able to speak....he's okay, really. He looked pale for a while but then I reminded him that beggars who are choosers might never get a chance to rise to a challenge amongst people who would be good enough to love them even if they fail. I mean, if these people are just willing to let ANYONE in, I kinda like them already. I get laughed at entirely too much, you know?

Incidentally, my other haughty reason to refrain from joining all the 'group' activities would be some silly babble about competition and how I don't really enjoy it. Here's the real truth - I hate it. Also, it would give due credit to mention, here, that the spirit in which most of these activities are designed, gathered, and implemented is NEVER around such a negative concept - it is usually self-imposed so we should look inward and take a hanky and wipe the smudgy spots away. Anyway, it just isn't an issue so it doesn't apply here but we got to talking about how I suck at competition and there was mention made of the only organized competitive sport I have ever participated in (track and field no less, cuz I was dropped on my head at birth (RRD of the 'I was born in a town of less than 500 people' nature))and how I lost a long distance (yes, that's FOUR TIMES around the track) race once because someone fell and I stopped running and went back to help her up. Our small school travelled a four hour ride to that meet and it was one long ride home with everyone looking at me like they wanted me to die. Funny thing, one season later I would trip at the end of the same race (which due to the tragic theme of my life I would have been winning) and fall on both kneecaps which, between my primary years in Cathotic Academy and that injury, effectively ended my running, religious, and kneeling position career options. Dang!