Just when you'd thought you'd seen it all.....

Warning: This post is about knitting. It's about knitting but also has some adult, I guess, ideas. Although, I contend the adult part is a very flexible concept. LOL.

Being sick sucks, as I'm sure ya'll know. So, in addition to the fuurrrrreeezing last few days (28 below one night followed by 20 below the next darn near froze the hearts right out of us), our lives were appropriately spiced with drudgery and woe by said cold weather coming precisely when the whole house had come down with another horrid cold/flu/thingummie. It sort of seemed like the reverse of a dream come true - which is to say, it was sort of nightmarish. No problem, I've got coping skills. So, what's a sick and weakened girl to do? Peruse ravelry, perhaps? All I have to say to you if you're considering that course for yourself is this - Humping Elephants. Yes, I mean it. You shouldn't mix cough and cold flu formulas with humping elephants and then go lay down for a nap. Just.trust.me. The dreams you might experience with that combo are beyond what you can actually describe to other people.

There are other things you can do whilst sick and feeble and freezing to liven your flailing spirits - you guessed it - spinning! The green lovely up on the corner, there, is the result of January 09's Happy Hooves Batt Club. "Good Fortune" seemed appropriate to wish for in this New Year - I hope it comes to all of you because I am clearly already fortunate to have this oober green and luscious yarn. A navajo ply skein of 3 ozs. with 330 yds. - not too shabby. Wanna see the batts? Of course you did.....To spin these with uniform but still spontaneous color shifts, I tore the batt into much thinner strips than I normally would (about 10) and dizzed them fine, spun superfine and navajo plied - 14 wpi fingering wgt.

Sometime around the day of the 'you must have an ax in your brain your head hurts so bad' portion of this sickness, I decided to get serious and tap into some deep spinning healing so I went lace weight on the wheel and spun this 18 wpi, 390 yd, 3.8 ozs roving into this pretty, soft, delicate skein I'm calling 'Tiny Dancer'. She's going in the shop on Wednesday, along with the sock yarn I'm plying from this 'Cat Woman' roving. Well, I confess, not all of it. I'm spinning one skein for the shop and one for the Farm-Witch. I can't help it - yarn is my drug of choice, ya know? But, if pretty yarn and splooshy roving aren't yours, perhaps you'd like a pair of these fornicating deer mittens? Oh come on, I'm dying to find someone who wants them so I can have an excuse to knit them. There are precious few people I can think of that would appreciate a pair of fornicating deer mittens....maybe I need to get out more?

Just for the record, I'm not really so prudish. I can appreciate the occasion for pasties, thongs (though a muppet fur thong also gave me nightmares), knitted private parts and other naughty knits. Perhaps, in a treehugger's sense, which I count myself one, I can even celebrate the reality that deer, well, fornicate. But, the penguins getting it on? I just can't go there!