Hang the Experts

Uh, I wonder if this title is too transparent a view into my anger streak. Oh, well, if I over edit, you'll never hear from me again. You know, it is summer (I know, obvious, but as I am out of breath from chasing sheep away from the garden - which is growing gloriously, by the way, I need a minute to catch my breath). Summer brings fiber shows, agricultural fairs, and those of us crazy bold enough to grow our own fiber will be out there peddling all the dreams to those who have been too smart not ready yet to begin the circus of animal husbandry. Sure, we will organize notes and give little talks on how to grow healthy animals, how and what fencing to buy, how to shear, what to do with 50 lbs. of raw wool, etc. But, only on a GOOD day, will we actually divulge the dirty truths that lurk beneath our farm-grown opitmism. Like, this morning. I should have been calling wool processors, checking orders, actually working with some wool. But, a little ram (who has a aura about him that says, 'do not let the wool fool you, I am destined to be a sausage') who seems to find electric shock therapy stimulating (must help his appetite rev up for my lettuce beds)has virtually no brain cells left from his repeated attempts to bring down a whole fence by walking blindly through it. After repeated attempts to put him back, I have given up and put him in solitary confinement back in the barn. But, who's back in the barn? A ewe I call 'bangs' because you can't see her eyes for her long dreadlocks hanging in her face. She is going to another farm or I am going to another (funny)farm! I know it is un-farmly for me to say this to the general knitting public but I HATE THIS EWE! She breaks through fences like a bull, only to eat all she can until she gets bloaty and her feet founder, thereby giving her a nasty limp that doesn't seem to inhibit her ability to jump any fence under 4 ft. high, which makes gates a real challenge. Curse her! She was out, too, and headed where? Obviously these animals are smarter than they appear, for they have figured out that pasture and woodland hold all sorts of bitter surprises as well as ants, snakes, etc. But, that lovely garden, it is all pleasure! ARGH!

Well, now that I've worked up a good sweat, I can have another cup of coffee and re-start the day. I am determined to have a baby salad for dinner tonight. Whether or not it is accompanied by lamb chops remains to be seen. If you go to one of the better farm-helper seminars, please do not betray me to the other farmers. Do not tell them about this moment of weakness wherein I divulged dirty details and whispered in the ear of the hopeful farmer 'run, run while you still can!'.