Is there a Celtic Amazonian Woman?

the Sunday Spinster is away from her wheel right now, which is to say she is blocking the heck out of all her Yule knitting and (most likely) cursing as blocking ranks even with sleeve knitting for 'things to make you reconsider your passion for crafting'. She will return when she's managed more than one piss poor half a bobbin of spinning in a whole week. Those who are strong on interpretation may read this to say, "she is totally irked that she's not spinning."

I am getting READY TO SPIN something totally luscious over the next few weeks. You can't see the 'sparkles' much but my gracious model (thing 3) would not have appreciated mum taking too much time to play with the lighting. These, dearies, are the makings of a sweater for ME! The black cotswold/merino mix has silver glitz (bottom), on the right mmmmm (sorry) is some delicious rose gray alpaca with the same heaping dose of tacky flash and on the top left is some silver cotswold tussah silk blended with - you guessed it- glitz. I've been thinking.....

Thing 1 and I have been testing out the inter-library loan system each week and I got two winners this week. Celtic Collection, by none other than the person who makes me want to knit in my sleep - Alice Starmore and Big Girl Knits by Jillian Mereno and Amy of the Knitty.com fame. I totally love the Starmore book. The color, the design, but not the collars and sizing. Believe me, I have tried in many ways to torment the 'bod' so that I could look wafy-ish but short of dying and having myself dried - it ain't gonna happen. I've had this d to dd chest since the summer puberty dog slapped me 22 yrs. ago. And it goes without saying that a round of three children stretching and kicking my hips around and a fervent need for at least two weekly doses of ice cream hasn't done much in the way of wafing. I have dreamed of running away to the misty Scottish Isles and eating fish and raising a herd and....well, you get the idea. Someday, I will have to go just to see, are there any Amazonian Celtic women - or do they all max out at a 36 inch bust? That is hard to believe (seems like one of those 'un-informed' assumptions)but I've been told before that I am all too skeptical. Course, I've been told also that I am dumb so it really could be a toss-up. I read more and found the answer. Some of the sweaters do, indeed go all the way to 44 inches which is fine for all of me except my 'rack' (you gotta love the creative terminology these girls came up with). I just don't happen to be as crazy about them as, say,all of the 'key' patterns and most of the spirals. Alice Starmore is, first and foremost, a top notch knitter and, secondly, an excellent teacher. Half a cuppa looking over her patterns quickly showed that you can not only adjust the sizing fairly easily, but ditch the round collars and follow the Big Girls advice - show the boob flesh!

If ya'll haven't seen this book yet, see it! Even if you are a rail....trust me, you need the laugh. What's not to like when an author (or two) have the sensitivity to discuss something so bruising as weight, posture, etc. but will end the paragraph with 'a good bra will make your dogs sit up and bark!'. I want to have coffee with these women. Hell, I want to go along as their maid. I want to hear women laughing about and with their 'bods' and finding a way to do what works for them. Long overdue....and desperately needed. I could blame the fact that I spent my formative years living with a single parent who went out on ship for weeks at a time and was, may I mention - a man for my entire lack of fashion sense but that is a cop-out. As we know, any village idiot can study fashion by their own accumulation of the multiple materials, magazines, books on the subject which is evidenced by the fact that MANY people of multiple or singular genders seem to be able to learn how to dress themselves with some style and dignity with or without a fashion degree. So, clearly it is because I am lazy or ignorant or unwilling. Possibly mostly the latter. But, I needed someone to tell me to sit up straight and stop hunching over to compensate for the many years I have spent talking to people while they (uncomfortably) try not to stare at my chest. Course, hard not to when it's poking you in the eye but, hey! I'm one of THOSE big girls - afraid of her own cleavage. Who knew it could make me look better. And, all this time, I've been using it to store cash, a pencil when I'm working, a tissue when I'm down in the barn in lambing season....Oh, I have so much to learn!

So, in the face of the opposition coming from thing 1 who swears this combo of lovely fiber is 'elvish' and, therefore, destined to be a sweater or vest for her - I am thinking more along the lines of deep v-neck, four-cable collars, wrists and bottom with black standing the cable turns and the silver as a backdrop and some 'melting' colorwork for, well, the 'dogs'. Should I?